Last night when I was sleeping, I was just running rampantly through memories of the last 15 years, the good the bad, the ugly. So I felt a little shellshocked when I first awoke. I chatted with my mom about some more stuff. I am processing a lot right now, unwinding and undoing, etc. This is a phase I think I’ll be in for awhile. I was told this by quite a few people.
I then went for a run in my old neighborhood where I spent most of the childhood where my issues from my parents began their establishment, patterns, and disfunction in my little mind at the time.
I’m about to head out to try and reconnect with a childhood friend and then off to our counseling session.
More to come….
Mother/Son Counseling Session
We had our joint counseling session today. It was pretty intense. We both addressed our female abandonment/mom issues together. It was pretty intense seeing my mom verbalize her own childhood and then me having to verbalize mine, in front of each other, both of us in tears. I gave the counselor the run down on this situation and where I was at. Even though my path is what it is she said that she sees huge progress here with us two as individuals and says we’re both on the right track. That was nice to hear.
Old Friends
I had a childhood friend that I grew up with and haven’t seen for fifteen years. I managed to find her here locally and am gonna go have a couple drinks with her. She’s happily married with a son so there’s no weirdness here or me rebounding at all. Just catching up. It’ll be nice to get a few hours in of NOT being inside my head.
Tonight I may also visit another friend of mine who just had his second child. He’s a friend of mine from elementary school that I’ve been in touch with off and on for the last few years. I just need to do “other” stuff right now.
Glad that this is the beginning of something positive for you brother!! I know you’ll get through this a better man.