So last Saturday was indeed one of the most intense days I’ve had in a long time. We had scheduled to tell our older sons, 11 and 12, that we were getting divorced. I’ve felt sick about it for a couple weeks. While I knew this divorce was gonna be one that was not chaotic and malicious and fucked up, I still had flashbacks to my own parents divorce, which was shitty. They yelled at each other, my mom just straight up bailed, my dad had women coming in and out of the house that were sort of bonding with us. I had to remind myself that my divorce was most likely gonna be nothing like my own parents divorce.
We took them to a secluded beach and basically just laid it out to them. My ex was the one to initially tell them and I started filling in the gaps with more information. Both of them broke down in front of us, which we expected, and she and I did as well. It was really hard and rough for about 30 minutes. Afterwards, they gathered themselves up and asked us more questions about the logistics, etc. Once we clarified with them that the only major difference was that we’d have two differences places to live between us, that we’d have to do some schedule juggling, but that their schools/friends/support/their parents involvement, will all stay the same.
The kids have some good long vacations and breaks away from all this with my mom, etc. so that’ll allow us to work through the logistical stuff and selling our house, dealing with clean up, and more.
More to come on this front….
Just wanted yo to know there’s people thinking of you, and wishing you the best. I know you’re not in a place to talk right now, but best wishes to you.